essay on balancing work and family by a mother

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Balancing work and family

1. importance of work-life balance.

Work-life balance is defined as individuals balancing their paid and unpaid work, to that employment, and income for both gender should not be deterred by other life experiences with the purpose of work and the quality of life. A balanced work-life and various actions and programs (e.g. employee assistance programs, flexible work practices, and decision-making autonomy), working in different occupations to that of their educational background, have been found to be work-life enhancing for some individuals with their subjective level of work-life over the life course. The Australian people have discussed policies that would assist in gaining a better work-life balance. Work-life balance is more broadly defined today than it was in 1983 when work-life policies were introduced in Australia. Then, it was largely associated with issues about women returning to work after raising a family, as women were the major carers and still are to some degree today. These policies enabled women who had gone on maternity leave to return to their previous jobs with conditions that better allowed them to raise children and work at the same time. The policies have had a significant impact on the traditional role expectation of women, and today there is more focus on employees being able to balance work and family regardless of their gender and caregiving roles. The notion of work-life balance is gaining importance in today's world, more so in rich and more economically stable countries where quality of life issues are considered to be more important. This is mainly because the relative differences of work-life in third world and developing countries are so large. Individuals living in those societies are trying to work as much as possible to increase their income and quality of life. Often this comes at the expense of increased working hours and work intensification to the neglect of family. Such is the case in Japan, where their own labor standard laws to combat work-life imbalance were revised as recently as in 2007 due to the social problems arising from overwork and an aging population. Japan had over 300,000 workers suffer mental breakdowns in 2006 and the highest suicide rate among OECD countries, with the main cause due to job-related stress and health problems. There is a growing number of people attempting to seek improved work-life in third world countries with migration plans, and this could also change their work-life cultures. The concept of work-life balance may also begin to be considered more deeply in the future.

1.1 Benefits of balancing work and family

The benefits of an appropriate work-life balance are legion. They include greater life satisfaction, enhanced personal and family well-being, more free time, reduced stress, the opportunity for personal growth, and in the long run, greater employability and job security. Juggling career and family obliges an individual to be highly organised and to develop expert management skills. This can have a spill-over effect on work where efficiency and effectiveness are highly prized. Conversely, when work life is unbalanced, it can have a negative impact on mental and physical health. There is a higher level of stress especially for parents who feel they do not have enough time with their children after deducting the time available for paid work and time available for domestic chores. Sleep disturbances are common as individuals ruminate about issues such as, when will I find time to get that project finished, it's difficult to find space to relax, and I haven't spent any time with my kids today. Overwork can lead to depression and anxiety and affect relationships. Some individuals use unhealthy coping strategies such as smoking or drinking to manage their emotions or 'wind down' after work which brings a different set of health problems. In extreme cases, sustained high work demands over long periods can be a cause of family breakdown. High achieving career parents can experience high levels of guilt because they feel they are not being an effective parent. This leads to cognitive dissonance and negatively affects job performance.

1.2 Consequences of neglecting work-life balance

Long hours at work and time spent on work at home late at night result in work-related fatigue. Work-time fatigue affects both the quantity and quality of time available to families. This, in turn, can lead to more strain and to negative moods that may spill over at work or at home. The long-term consequences of daily fatigue from excessive job and work-family role demands can be more serious. Studies of employed parents' sleep patterns suggest that the onset of the accelerated pace of home and community life has led to a sleep and rest deficiency which has significant potential consequences for individual health and well-being, as well as for the safety and health of others. Work life mandates may also interfere with personal and family values. The ability to be present at or attend to critical events or developmental milestones including births, first steps, and high school graduations, as well as the ability to pursue outside activities or community involvement such as joining a singing group, coaching a youth sports team, or serving in an adult literacy program, may be compromised by work requirements of time and energy. In this sense, work may contribute to a perceived loss of control over the time and quality of life of workers and their families. Perhaps the strongest evidence comes from changes in employment practices in companies that have instituted family-supportive policies such as flextime and telecommuting options, and which have successfully balanced the scales to foster increased family engagement. Research has shown that over time, work-family balance and family-supportive work environments predict greater job and career satisfaction, as well as overall life satisfaction.

2. Strategies for achieving work-life balance

For working parents, setting priorities and boundaries is important. Prioritizing what is most important to you in a job, for example, higher income, potential for advancement, alternative work options, and telecommuting, allows you to make better decisions about what jobs to take. If you realize that family time is incredibly important to you and the flexibility it allows, you might decide that a lower paying job with less demands on time and energy is a better fit for you. Going after jobs with better work/family benefits also gives you more support when it comes to family care. Jobs with family benefits such as sick child care, backup daycare, and care for healthy children when the primary caregiver is traveling can minimize family disruptions when work conflicts arise. Flexibility and control over your work and your time are the greatest predictors of job satisfaction and satisfaction with work/family balance. Having control over where and when you do your work has been consistently associated with improvements in reduced work/family conflict and emotional stress, as well as increased family and life satisfaction. It is also important to explore ways to increase your current control and flexibility on the job, sometimes with simple negotiations or position changes. For some, reducing work hours is an attractive way to improve balance. While stepping down to part-time work is a clear way to reduce the time dedicated to work, some have been successful in negotiating more flexibility and autonomy in their job on a full-time track. Flextime, or flexible hours, is a work schedule arrangement that allows employees to change the start and end times of their workday; this can be a handy option for creating time for family needs. Telecommuting, or working from home, is an option that is growing in popularity and use with advances in technology. While it may not be suitable for all job types, the ability to do all or some of your work from home can save time otherwise spent on a commute and allow for more work time to be family integrated. Easing working parent concerns about the effect of flexibility and alternative work options on career success is imperative. Data from a 2003 Work/Life Profiles survey by the Families and Work Institute indicated that while most employers see no downshift in career commitment and promotability for employees using workplace flexibility options, employees' belief that flexibility will harm their career is a main barrier to use of flexibility options. This perception is not unjustified, as outcomes of decreased job security and opportunity for training and development have been associated with alternative work arrangements, although it is predicted that these too will improve over time.

2.1 Setting priorities and boundaries

Outline the two distinct types of role prioritization (separating and integrating) and the issues the dual role employee will encounter. The four categories of boundary management (Roen and Sias) are then detailed with the positive and negative implications. Boundary strength and flexibility is introduced as important concepts and the chapter concludes with a discussion of specific boundaries that might be found in the work and family domains. This theory is notable for its identification of psychological mechanisms used by individuals to manage work and family roles and the structural and social factors that influence boundary management. These include setting routines, rituals and symbols to differentiate work and family activities, persons and places, using personal and social support to maintain, adjust or re-negotiate boundaries, and utilizing both internal (mental) and external (physical) separation and integration. This is the most recent and comprehensive theory of role and boundary management and is a foundation for the research to follow in this area. Boundary theory addresses the issue of inter-role conflict and its potential spillover in a way that previous studies of role segmentation had not done.

2.2 Time management techniques

Prioritizing time is an important aspect in life as it gives us the opportunity to accomplish our tasks in a timely fashion. Therefore, having a system of time management can allow individuals to effectively plan out how he/she would spend the 24 hours in the day. With work, school, and spending time with loved ones all taking up a portion of the day, scheduling becomes essential. Keeping a schedule can not only keep an individual organized but it could also free up time to allow for flexibility. According to Russell Clayton, an assistant professor of management at Saint Leo University, individuals who keep a work-family balance are usually efficient in planning their days/weeks ahead. In a recent study, Clayton found that professionals who utilized a "time management plan" were advantageous in reducing work-family conflict. Steps of creating a time management plan include incorporating short-term and long-term goals (both personal and professional), creating daily "to-do" lists, establishing time limits for tasks, and lastly giving yourself time for "transition" between work and personal responsibilities. An example of a time limit might be to set aside 30 minutes per day to check and reply to emails from work. Doing so will allow some follow-up time just in case an important email surfaces, but still keeping specific time monitored for email activity to eliminate interference with personal time.

2.3 Utilizing support systems

Balancing work and family responsibilities can be a stressful process because most people do not know how to say no to work or feel obligated to say yes. By joining a support group, it is easier to determine one's limits and stick to them. This is because the individual will have a listening ear from someone who has been in their position and can empathize with them. A good support group will enable an individual to talk to people who have similar experiences. Although friends can be a great form of support, generally unless they are in a similar situation they will not be able to empathize with you. Support groups also act as a sounding board and getting different perspectives can help an individual see situations in a different light and find a solution more easily. Many communities have support groups which can be very beneficial, online support is also available. A person might also find it useful to confide in their religious leader as they can often provide guidance from a spiritual perspective. Children and household responsibilities are no doubt a long-term commitment. However, it is possible to trade services with a friend or neighbor to give yourself a break. For example, provide childcare service in exchange for another job like gardening. By doing this an individual can take time out from their responsibilities to revitalize without feeling guilty. This leads on to another support method which is pooling resources. This is particularly useful for single parents. By sharing household tasks with a neighbor or cooperative (e.g. cooking, cleaning, shopping) it is possible to lighten the load. In addition to this, information can be pooled to solve work and parenting problems. This occasionally eases into informal agreements to try to share employment so that one person can care for the other's children.

3. Challenges in balancing work and family

The challenges of attempting to balance the needs of work and home can be a difficult task. One of the most significant is overcoming societal expectations and the resulting guilt. Many parents have an internalized societal voice that says they should be able to do it all; that they should be able to have the perfect job and the perfect family. Many women, in particular, have a vision of themselves as the perfect mother. They should be able to bake cookies and attend every child's event at school while holding a full-time job. They may feel that by admitting that they cannot do it all perfectly, they are somehow inadequate. Women who are homemakers may feel that they are taking something away from their family by getting a job. There are also many people who feel that good parents should be able to meet every expense of raising their children without any outside help. Many of these ideas come from earlier generations or certain segments of the population, and it is important to remember the actual needs of the family and children, and that there is often no real harm in not meeting an ideal. Recognizing and dismissing these ideals is vital in being at peace with the choices made in balancing work and family. A second challenge is dealing with stress and the possibility of burnout. Decreasing the amount of work in an attempt to find greater balance may actually cause more stress if it means less income with no free time gained. Often the double workload is simply easier than dealing with the financial consequences of one or both parents working less. Beyond that, simply working and parenting is a lot to juggle, particularly if both jobs are demanding. This may mean less sleep or no downtime to recharge. High stress and little time off can lead to burnout, which would only make balancing work and family harder.

3.1 Overcoming guilt and societal expectations

The pressure to juggle paid employment and family has a particular impact on parents, who feel they should be building a better life for their children. Fathers are under more pressure to succeed at work than men without children, whereas working mothers are under the most strain of all (Winders, 1994). Despite the fact that women are now a majority in the paid workforce, and men are taking a more active role in home life, women in particular feel that they are never doing enough, with the double shift of paid and unpaid work taking its toll (Craig and Bittman, 2008; Williams, 2000). The guilt about not being there for children, and not performing well in either work or family roles is a powerful source of stress (Wang and Walles, 2002). The guilt seems to be worse for more educated parents, as they are acutely aware of the trade-offs between time with children and that spent in professional development and employment (Hertz et al., 1997). Garey (1999) found that mothers in full-time professional jobs worried that they were too caught up in their careers and neglecting family time, whilst those in part-time professional jobs were concerned that they were not working enough and hence failing to provide sufficiently for their families. Constraints on the choices parents make to work less in order to spend more time with their children are influenced by societal expectations. While individualistic societies stress personal choice and quality parenting, they also entail high material expectations for children, which puts pressure on parents to earn more to ensure the best for their offspring, often at the expense of time with them (Wang and Walles, 2002). In more collectivist societies, the pressure to be a good parent is similarly high, but may entail staying in full-time work to support the collective needs of an extended family, or to provide higher education for the next generation (Choi and Chevalier, 2006). In the UK and USA, getting ahead for one's children is a competitive, individual pursuit, which incurs high parental time and financial investments, often induced by desires to 'keep up with the Joneses' (Winders, 1994). As a result, whether societal expectations for good parenting are individually or collectively oriented, they usually involve high levels of parental investment in terms of time and earnings. This in turn exacerbates guilt about spending insufficient time with children, and any trade-offs between work and family capacities.

3.2 Dealing with stress and burnout

Both work and family life can be stressful, and it can be difficult to keep up with the demands in both areas. Family demands, in particular, often come on top of an already demanding work schedule, leading to increased stress and decreased effectiveness at work. The combination of stress and the desire to be successful in both areas can lead to burnout, a point where your mind and body shuts down from too much stress. The signs of burnout often involve feeling drained, a lack of motivation, increased frustration, and a loss of confidence in yourself. This can affect your family life, as well as your work, often leading to more stress and a cycle of negative behavior. It is very important to address the issue of stress and take action to avoid burnout, as the consequences can have a major impact on your entire family.

3.3 Navigating childcare and parental responsibilities

Recent studies emphasise the link between engaging in high quality childcare and enhanced cognitive and social development for children during the pre-school years. For example, the most recent data from the National Longitudinal Study of Children and Youth in Canada suggests that children's participation in childcare in the years prior to entering school is positively associated with measures of cognitive and language development. Moreover, in a recent Australian study, Gregory and his colleagues found that low-income families whose children were able to access a childcare fee reduction program reported improvements in their children's social skills. These findings are important to note for employed parents with preschool-age children and underline the significance of an effective strategy to select high-quality childcare that is appropriate for their child and family context. "Childcare" is a broad term and does not capture the complexity and diversity in arrangements and experiences to which children are exposed during their early years. Recognizing this, the National Center for Education and the Economy in the USA differentiates between childcare and early childhood education and care services. The former is described as non-parental care provided to children in the child's home, the home of a relative, a family day care home, or center-based facility, but is not focused on the development of the child's early learning. In contrast, early childhood education and care services are said to encompass a range of program types for children from birth to eight years, offered in settings with a strong focus on children's early learning and development, and delivered by qualified early childhood teachers. With the shift towards child-focused learning frameworks in Western countries, parents are encouraged to consider the importance of early childhood education for the development of their preschool-aged children, and it is therefore the latter type of service to which the term "childcare" will refer in the context of this section.

4. Creating a healthy work-life integration

The boundary between work and home has perpetually declined. This trend has caused an imbalance between work and life. Work now seeps into home life and also personal issues at home often affect work performance. Therefore, it is essential that a clear and concise line is drawn. This advice goes to both partners in a family, as well as single parents. All parties need to sit down and discuss how they will share household and family responsibilities. This can also be achieved through weekly meetings or even family conferences. Discussion at such time can result in flexibility and offer a chance to change assigned duty if it is not working for one person. This will enable a family to experience a more balanced lifestyle. Flexibility is an important aspect to consider when trying to integrate work and family life. Current work arrangements need to be assessed and family-friendly policies may provide room for a change to a less demanding or stressful position.

4.1 Flexibility in work arrangements

Flexibility in work arrangements is one method of balancing work and family that has recently received a great deal of attention. An employee is considered to be working in a flexible work arrangement when they alter the time, location, and manner in which they work. The aim of using these altered work methods is to allow the employee to better balance work and family as they have greater control over when and where they complete their work. There are numerous types of flexibility in work arrangements, including part-time work, flexi-time, job share, telecommuting, and shift work. The increased control over work scheduling that these work methods offer has been suggested to reduce time and work conflict. This is achieved through allowing the employee to coordinate their work hours with the hours that their child is in care or school, particular time-sensitive demands of family life, and evenly share domestic responsibilities with their partner. While the control over scheduling that flexible work arrangements offer can greatly assist in balancing work and family, some work arrangements can evoke negative consequences in the form of increased time and strain-based work-family interference. So while the form of flexibility in work arrangements may be useful for reducing behavior-based interference, it may increase other forms of work-family interference.

4.2 Communication and negotiation skills

Being skilled in communication and negotiation can assist greatly in achieving a satisfying work/life balance. Negotiation involves exchanging information with the aim of reaching an agreement. Good negotiation is about getting what you want in a manner that enables you to feel okay about yourself. This is important when negotiating with a manager over flexible work hours or leave arrangements. A win/win outcome is the goal as neither party is likely to maintain a durable agreement that has caused resentment. Coming to an agreement, it is important to clarify the details in writing so that there is a shared understanding of what has been agreed. This helps to avoid future misunderstandings that could lead to increased work pressures. The skill of communication can assist in maintaining healthy boundaries between work and family. Being able to assert what your limits are in taking work home, doing overtime or lengthy work-related travel can prevent misunderstandings. Effective listening is also important in hearing what changes are being implemented within an organization and how they may affect your work practices. Being proactive in seeking information can prevent being caught off guard with increased work demands. This can provide an opportunity to negotiate arrangements to suit your family situation. For example, if an on-call roster is being introduced, this may be a chance to negotiate reduced hours to coincide with children being home from school.

4.3 Self-care and maintaining personal well-being

Regular physical exercise is important in mitigating stress and maintaining function. While engaged in family and work responsibilities, today's parent is likely to justify exercise low on the priority list. An effective alternative for many is incorporating more physical activity into their everyday routines, such as walking or cycling in place of using the car, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or doing housework or gardening. While these activities might not be as intense as a regular exercise routine, they do move the body more than using convenient mechanical aids. Alone time is often difficult to come by, especially when work and family needs are pressing, but "solitude can be a refreshment for the soul" and contributes to maintaining personal well-being. What constitutes alone time is highly individual, but for many it involves relaxing in a quiet place and doing a leisure activity such as reading, going for a walk, or listening to music. Coming home for a half-hour of solitude before the rest of the family returns can be beneficial—though parents should be alert to the possibility that children may see this as an opportune time to say what's on their minds! Having time alone also provides an opportunity for self-reflection, enabling individuals to integrate their thoughts and feelings. Regularly engaging in a leisure activity that brings enjoyment provides an ongoing sense of accomplishment that is distinct from meeting the continual care needs of others. Despite the busy nature of work and family life, many parents have an activity that they have continued to engage in from childhood or adolescence, and derive a great deal of personal fulfillment from participating in this activity. A New Zealand study found that parents highly value opportunities for active leisure (such as sports or outdoor activities) and activities involving quiet relaxation (such as reading or gardening) and believe that these pursuits contribute positively to their family lives by refreshing their energies and spirits.

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A Working Parent’s Survival Guide

• Daisy Dowling

The five big challenges—and how to deal with them

If you’re passionate about your career—and about being a great mom or dad—you’re facing an ongoing struggle for at least 18 years. But you can learn techniques to reduce the stress and successfully balance your professional and family roles.

The author, an executive coach who specializes in helping working parents, suggests that you start by identifying the kinds of challenges you’re confronting. There are five core types: those involving transitions (such as returning to work after parental leave, or hiring a new caregiver); practical challenges (dealing with errands, appointments, and all your other responsibilities); communication issues (conversations and negotiations about working-parent matters); feelings of loss (fear that you’re missing out at work or at home); and identity concerns (uncertainty about your priorities and how you define yourself).

To mitigate these challenges, the author recommends five powerful strategies: Rehearse to prepare for transitions; audit your commitments and plan your calendar so that practicalities don’t overwhelm you; frame your working-parent messages effectively; use “today plus 20 years” thinking to put losses into perspective; and revisit and recast your professional identity and brand.

Jacob was a partner at a respected consulting firm and—to his delight—an expectant father. As the due date loomed, though, he became increasingly apprehensive. How would he and his wife, who worked long hours as a physician, find optimal childcare? Was it possible to use his firm’s generous paternity leave without negative judgment from his colleagues and clients? And with his “road warrior” schedule, how could he be a present, loving father to his new daughter?

• Daisy Dowling is an executive coach and human capital advisor who specializes in working parenthood . She is the author of  Workparent: The Complete Guide to Succeeding on the Job, Staying True to Yourself, and Raising Happy Kids   (HBR Press, 2021) and serves as series editor of HBR’s Working Parent Collection  of books.

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Balancing Work and Family Life, Essay Example

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Most sociological works on the subject deal with the consequences of being a single mother, and the challenges of juggling work and family life for and from a female’s perspective. Very few studies consider the fact that increasingly more men are becoming single fathers. It is, therefore, imperative to investigate their ability in coping with the joint effects of vocation and domestic occupation. According to the Equal Opportunities Commission (EOC) (2010), not only are fathers more likely than mothers (87 percent) to be in fulltime employment, but it was also discovered that between 1998 to 2001 the proportion of lone fathers as compared to lone mothers increased when it came to balancing work and vocation. More so, the workload is generally higher for fathers than it is for mothers by approximately two-thirds.   In 1999, for instance, a survey by Fisher, McCulloch, and Gershuny showed that fathers in Britain worked an average of 46 hours per week with nearly 40 percent working a minimum of 48 hours and one-eight 60 or more hours per week. This produces an undue amount of stress, worsened, according to a poll recently surveyed by the American Psychological Association (APA) (2007), by the fact that men are less able than women to cope with domestic-related stress. This essay evaluates a father’s perceptive on balancing work and family life, assesses the consequences, and offers solutions.

The Problem

Work and family life combined can be a stressful phenomenon for a father balancing this alone. According to the American Psychological Stress survey (APA, 2007), 50 percent of the men polled vs. 40 percent of women stated that stress negatively affected various aspects of their life such as job satisfaction, whilst 45 percent of men versus 35 percent of women reported that stress effected their overall satisfaction with life. It seems, therefore, that men are less able to cope with being a single father or with balancing work and family life than women can. The endeavor to balance both affects not only their job but also their overall psychological mental well-being.

Consequences

According to Palomares (APA, 2007), men react to their stress in destructive manners such as with binge eating, alcoholism, or smoking which inevitably acts as a negative role model for children, with children, potentially, indulging in those same destructive acts in their adult years.

Fathers with atypical working hours (such as 50 hours minimum) may indulge in destructive or abusive domestic conduct (towards either or both partner and children) as outlet for their stress. More so, the EOC discovered that so-called ‘atypical’ fathers (namely those who maximized their working hours) tended to lower their participation in childcare and housework. The result rebounds on the partner and children causing them to experience a whole set of mental health problems of their own. In fact, partners of such fathers often find themselves lonely, isolated, and guilty with their relationship inevitably suffering as a result (Robinson, 1998). Aside from unfaithfulness in marriage occasionally occurring, family members may retaliate with verbal resentments and emotional distance. Children of such atypical father may become ‘parentified’, in the sense that they forfeit their childhood, are forced to care for themselves, and emerge in later life with this “empty hole inside” (Robinson, 1998, p. 121). The parental bond – mother with child – can become more valued than the marital bond, since father’s physical and emotional presence is lacking. The overall result is that the ‘atypical’ father (the one who, when seeking to merge work with family, overcompensates work) fails to achieve equilibrium between family and work.  He loses his family by dedicating himself to his work.

Even without considering such radical negative results, and even for those fathers who showcase more typical working hours, the undue amount of stress resultant from their responsibilities may impede them from investing the amount of quality time that they wish they had with their children.

A number of studies (e.g., Fisher, McCulloch, & Gershuny, 1999) show that since the 1970s there has been an upward swing with fathers spending more time with their children attempting to balance both work and home. As opposed to the mid-1970s where father spent less than 15 minutes per day to child-related activities, by the late 1990s fathers dedicated at least 2 hours a day. In total, time spent by fathers accounts for one-third of total parental childcare. Having to assiduously fulfill demands of the workplace at the same time can be stressful.

The APA suggests that fathers investigate the source of their stress, become conscious of the ways that they deal with it, find healthy ways to deal with it, and, most importantly, seek support (such as a Fathers’ Support Group) to do so. Other commonsensical tips include being less of a workaholic, being assertive (namely declining unimportant duties), pacing oneself, finding a family-friendly workplace, and taking care of oneself (Dads for Life).

The EOC urges that an informed public debate is needed about how fathers can and should balance their economic and other commitments to children and partners. The introduction of paternity leave is a positive suggestion, although it is, simultaneously, problematic since, as research in Britain demonstrates, fathers are disinclined to take parental leave that is unpaid.

The EOC further recommend a change in workplace culture so that active fatherhood is accepted and the prevalence of longer working hours reduced. There also needs to be greater flexibility in the working place for fathers, so that fathers have greater control over their working day.  Finally, addressing the traditional gender pay gap could also be helpful since males, traditionally paid more than females, might impose expectations on themselves as the family breadwinner, thus imposing greater stress on father to absorb themselves in longer working hours.

American Psychological Association. (2010). Fatherhood balancing act takes a toll on men’s health (http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/fatherhood-health.aspx)

Dads for Life. Balancing family and work (http://dadsforlife.sg/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=247:balancing-family-life-and-work&catid=70:fatherhood-101&Itemid=130)

Equal Opportunities Commission (2010). Fathers: Balancing work and family. (www.eoc.org.uk/research)

Fisher, K., McCulloch, A. and Gershuny, J. (1999) B ritish Fathers and Children: Working paper . Essex: Institute for Social and Economic Research

Robinson, B.E. (1998). Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, their Partners, and Children, and all the Clinicians who treat them . USA: New York University Press

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• Modern Parenthood
• Chapter 2: Balancing Work and Family Life

Table of Contents

• Chapter 1: Changing Views About Work
• Chapter 3: Outcomes
• Chapter 4: How Mothers and Fathers Spend Their Time
• Chapter 5: Americans’ Time at Paid Work, Housework, Child Care, 1965 to 2011
• Chapter 6: Time in Work and Leisure, Patterns by Gender and Family Structure
• Appendix 1: Additional Charts
• Appendix 2: Characteristics of Men and Women in Different Family Settings
• Appendix 3: Time Use Activities for Paid Work, Housework, Child Care and Leisure
• Appendix 4: Topline Questionnaire

One of the challenges for working parents is finding enough time to do it all. Many say they feel rushed, and more than half say they have difficulty balancing the responsibilities of their job and their family life. While working mothers and fathers divide their time differently—with fathers concentrating somewhat more on paid work and mothers more on home and children—moms and dads are equally likely to find the juggling act challenging.

Feeling Rushed?

Overall, 25% of adults say they “always” feel rushed, and an additional 47% say they “sometimes” feel rushed. Parents with children under age 18 are significantly more likely than adults who do not have children in that age group to say they always feel rushed, even to do the things they have to do (34% vs. 20%, respectively). Only 18% of parents say they almost never feel rushed, compared with 31% of adults with no children under age 18. Similar shares of fathers (32%) and mothers (37%) say they are always in a rush.

Working parents are more likely than non-working parents to say that they always feel rushed. Some 37% of employed parents say they are always rushed, and an additional 47% say they sometimes feel rushed. Among parents who are not employed, 27% say they are always rushed and 45% say they are sometimes in a rush. Among mothers, non-working mothers are more than twice as likely as working mothers (24% vs. 11%) to say they almost never feel rushed. 7

Married and unmarried parents are about equally liked to say they always feel rushed (36% and 31%, respectively). However, unmarried parents (25%) are significantly more likely than married parents (15%) to say they almost never feel rushed.

Parents who live in dual-income households report feeling busier than those who live in a household where only one spouse or partner is employed. About four-in-ten (39%) parents in dual-earner partnerships say they are always rushed, compared with 28% of parents for whom either they or their partner is not working.

Managing Work and Family

Mothers and fathers feel equally pressured these days when it comes to managing their time between work and family. Among those with children under age 18, half of working fathers and 56% of working mothers say that balancing the responsibilities of their job with the responsibilities of their family is very or somewhat difficult.

Among all working parents with children under age 18, 15% say it is very difficult and 37% say it is somewhat difficult to balance their work and their family life. About one-third (32%) say it is not too difficult, and 15% say it is not at all difficult.

In the Pew Research survey, this question was asked among employed people who were either parents of children younger than 18 or married. Those who did not have children under age 18 (i.e., who are married with grown children or married without any children) were less likely than parents of young children to say it was difficult for them to manage work and family simultaneously—31% of those without children under age 18 say this balance is very or somewhat difficult, compared with 53% of those who have young children.

Parents in dual-income households are no more likely than those in single-income households to say it is very or somewhat difficult to balance the responsibilities of work and family life (54% vs. 49%, respectively).

There is no historical trend for the Pew Research question, so it is difficult to say how the level of difficulty men and women experience in balancing work and family life has changed over time. However, another national survey offers some clues. The Families and Work Institute conducted a survey of the U.S. workforce in 2008 that included questions about work-life balance. This survey found that fathers were more much likely to feel conflicts between their working lives and personal lives in 2008 than they had been in 1977, while mothers experienced only a modest increase in these conflicts over the same period. In 1977, 35% of employed fathers whose spouse or partner worked and 41% of employed mothers in dual-earner couples said they experienced at least some work-life conflict. 8 In 2008, the share of fathers saying this had increased to 60%, while the share of mothers saying so went up only marginally to 47%. 9

Working vs. Staying Home with the Kids

Not only do many working mothers and fathers find it difficult to balance work and family, fully half say they would like to be home with their children, rather than working. Survey respondents were asked which statement best describes how they balance work and family: (1) They would prefer to be at home raising their children, but they need to work because they need the income; or (2) Even though it takes them away from their family, they enjoy their work and want to keep working. Among all working parents with children under age 18, 50% say they would prefer to be home raising their children, while 46% say they want to keep working.

Mothers and fathers have nearly identical views on this question. Roughly half of working mothers (52%) and fathers (48%) say they would prefer to be home with their children but they have to work because they need the income. Some 42% of mothers and 49% of fathers say that even though work takes them away from their families, they enjoy their work and want to keep working. (These differences are not statistically significant.)

NBC News and the Wall Street Journal asked this question of working mothers 12 years ago, and opinions have changed very little since then. In 2000, 48% of working mothers with children under age 18 said they would prefer to be home with their children but needed to work, and 44% said they would like to keep working even though it took them away from their family. 10

Income and education are strongly correlated with the desire to be at home rather than working. Among working parents with annual household incomes of less than $50,000, fully 63% say they would prefer to be home with their children but need to work because they need the income. This compares with 39% of working parents with incomes of $50,000 or higher. Similarly, working parents who have not attended college are more likely than those who have to say they would prefer to be home with their children (62% vs. 42%).

• There were too few non-working fathers in the sample to analyze them separately. ↩
• 1977 figures are from surveys conducted by the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan. ↩
• This analysis is based on mothers and fathers with child(ren) younger than 18 who are in dual-earner couples and are employed for at least 20 hours per week. Work-life conflict is measured here using the following question: “How much do your job and your family life interfere with each other—a lot, somewhat, not too much or not at all?” To see the full report from the Families and Work Institute, see, Galinsky, Ellen, K. Aumann, J.T. Bond. 2011. “ Times are Changing: Gender and Generation at Work and at Home. ” Families and Work Institute. August. ↩
• In the June 2000 NBC/WSJ trend, the question was asked only of employed women who have children younger than 18 living in their household. This differs slightly from the Pew Research question, which does not take into account the living situation of the children. Fathers were not asked this question in the 2000 survey. ↩

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